AN OXYMORON

1/11/11

For the word of God, which is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, has pierced and penetrated me to the dividing of my soul and spirit, my joints and marrow, judging the thoughts and intents and motivations of my heart. Nothing, even my inmost motivations, is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything in my heart, soul and mind is laid bare to the eyes of Him to whom I must give account. Therefore, since I have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, I will hold firmly to the faith I do profess. For my high priest, who is able to sympathize with my weaknesses, has been tempted in every way, just as I am—yet was without sin.  Therefore, I will approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that I may receive mercy and find grace and help in my time of need. Derived from Hebrews 4:12-14

I have gotten to like action/suspense movies.  It surprises me too…everyone stay calm.  The sound and movement and tension are a psyche for me.  Since I have begun to watch more of these types of shows and movies, I have seen broad sword battles on the screen.  Narnia, Braveheart, Gladiator. If I was ever able to stay awake for one, I’d venture to say that the Lord of the Rings movies had their fair share of them too.

Broadswords, as I understand them, are weapons used for cutting, most of which could dismember or decapitate the enemy. Lethal. http://www.middle-ages.org.uk/Broadsword.htm    You have to be mighty to wield one of these offensively.

As I have been studying scripture, I find that the Word of God is “sharper than any two-edged sword”. It comes to bear on us to the dividing of our souls and spirits, to expose the thoughts, intents and motivations of our hearts.  The heart of man is desperately wicked, who can know it; even the saved heart. The spirit is made new, but we carry it around in this flesh/body of ours that is bound by the curse of sin. So God sees fit to do this dissection.  I see God as a warrior. He is a Defender taking whatever measures necessary to keep his protectee from harm.

I see the work of His Word as a surgery of sorts. Have you ever had the privilege of observing surgery?  The skilled surgeon’s hand manipulates the scalpel to open up the covering of our skin and connective tissue to expose what lies underneath.  Is he looking for an injury, a diseased organ, something to repair?  In any of these cases, a skillful incision must be made.  The accomplished surgeon probes with intent and completes the task. I see God as a surgeon. He is One who skillfully opens and repairs or excises that which is diseased to make His beloved well.

God’s Word has been both of these to me recently. He’s jealous. He will not share His glory or worship with another. His name is Jealous. (Ex 34:14). He is a consuming fire, a jealous God, in response to the idolatrous heart. (Deut 4:24). Shoosh, there are many places where God’s jealousy surfaces and it is always because of His beloved’s wandering, idolatrous, adulterous heart. His beloved is so precious that He will do anything to rescue her from others. Enter the broadsword!

As expectations bind some of my most treasured relationships, God has lovingly shown me that even though these are most valuable, they are not supposed to be supreme.  He alone is the Only One worthy of all of my heart. When I impose any expectation on another to meet a need for or in me that is fully God’s to penetrate, I am sabotaging the relationship and giving God less than all of me. This realization came to me recently. The crush of unmet expectations was incapacitating.  All I could do was wag my head…for days…outwardly and in my heart…what a bloody mess!

Then came the infantile response, “What does this mean about this relationship? Is it all just a terrible, shallow, weak accord?” Blame and victimization for my misunderstanding God’s point was seeking vent! Lord help me!

Finally, the Word’s surgical procedure excised what was poisoning my heart.  I tried in my own strength to right my heart.  And with each attempt I saw that my effort only proved to expose my inabilities. I couldn’t forgive, couldn’t be unconditional, couldn’t give.  But, the excision brought the remedy, the Truth of God for me.  “Reckon it dead…but alive to Christ.”Rom 6:11.

Is that it? Yep. Every time the disappointment arises again, reckon it dead. Every time the anger boils, reckon it dead.  When the tide of bewilderment and misunderstanding rises, reckon it dead. You know why I can? Jesus can sympathize with me in every way. He went before me in flesh, but never sinned so I could know He knows. I can boldly approach Him because He invites me to come and ask and pour out my heart and receive Grace. Oh, beloved of the Lord, because I am alive in Christ, He is my living Head, my Defender, Shield, Buckler, Maker, Husband, Friend, Author and Finisher of my Faith, Redeemer, Counselor, my Prince of Peace!  I am part of His Body for whom He provides and cares. I am forever bound to the One who never disappoints, is always Good, infinitely deep in Mercy and Love and Grace.

You know what an oxymoron is? It’s a phrase in which the parts are contradictory, ie. “deafening silence”, “new classic”, “living dead”.  I see God’s love and care for me as an oxymoron. His Love is the devastating Healer of my soul making my heart sick for Him to heal. It is not cruel in any way. No, He is Goodness. He is Compassion. And in Grace, He meets my need.